Today I awakened with my stomach in knots. Today was the day I was to be flying to Mexico City and then on to Teotihuacan where I was leading a Sacred Feminine Journey. The theme was to be ‘Beyond Sacrifice,’ to be led by myself and my beloved friend and co-leader, Mugoux.
When the COVID 19 virus hit, I was aware, but unwavering in my commitment to continue with my long-planned trip of ten women. When our yoga teacher and assistant cancelled because of health issues I sadly released her and moved on. When our wonderful administrative assistant caught pneumonia and cancelled, I continued on. When Mugoux, my co-teacher contracted bronchitis and cancelled, I continued on. But when I saw that schools, offices, organizations and places of public gatherings started shutting down because of the virus, I began to doubt my determination to power forward.
After three days of deliberating, I made the difficult decision to postpone the trip. I began to think about our themes. Operating from the field of the Divine Feminine, I asked myself, over and over again, “What does a caring mother do for her children?” The reply was, “She protects them.”
Then, I began to think about our theme, Beyond Sacrifice. Was giving up on this trip for the greater good, not a sacrifice? The term ‘sacrifice’ is defined as follows:
“noun
the offering of animal, plant, or human life or of some material possession to a deity, as in propitiation or homage.
the person, animal, or thing so offered.
verb (used with object), sac·ri·ficed, sac·ri·fic·ing.
to make a sacrifice or offering of.
to surrender or give up, or permit injury or disadvantage to, for the sake of something else."
Surely I sacrificed a trip that I dearly wanted to follow through on, a work in progress that I had worked so very hard to create, market, and deliver. Yet, the sacrifice had to be made for the greater good of the whole, to protect my group from risk or harm, we had to sacrifice the time frame for which the trip was scheduled.
How then, can we move beyond the notion of sacrifice? In my deep disappointment, I can reflect on that which is not about me. I didn’t cause this health scare. I didn’t know if my group members would be at risk or not. Yet I felt that my first responsibility was to the health and safety of my group members, causing us all to sacrifice a much-awaited event.
The ‘Beyond Sacrifice’ lies in the fact that we are all led back to ourselves, back to our free will (two group members chose to go anyway), and back to choosing whether to live in fear or love.
When we live in fear, we are reactive. Our neurons fire off messages of fight, flight or freeze and when we are in any of those three responses, we cannot be in love. When we slow down those responses, we can finally see the bigger picture.
I still feel sadness and disappointment that I’m not sitting on a plane right now anticipating the arrival of my group at one of the world’s most magical mysterious power spots at which I have the privilege of leading.
But now I am in a state of love. I’m not afraid of the lions, tigers and bears out there, in fact I love them! However, I’m not going to lead a group through a potential wild kingdom of viruses either.
When a mother sacrifices for her children she can become worn out, embittered, and empty. She feels like a martyr. But when she experiences conscious choice which may require giving up certain things for the greater good of her family, she is enriched, fully committed, and happier within herself. She has moved ‘beyond sacrifice’ and into a larger field of love.
We have postponed our trip until September 24, 2020. Stay tuned! We have spaces open – and offering CE credits for psychotherapists!
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